All About Eve

Although Bette Davis was brilliant - as always - and Marilyn Monroe was as beautiful as ever, this post has nothing to do with Joseph L. Mankiewicz's classic 1950 film.

I'm talking about the 6-10pm waterpark shift, otherwise known as 'Eve.' It's a dreaded shift; as great as it is to pick up the hours, the pools are usually dead, and with the pool music cut due to the water park's proximity to the Island Dinner Show, boredom quickly begins to nag like a child begging for that latest Tickle Me iPad craze; eyes glaze over, mouth hangs open with drool pooling at your feet as you stare hazily into the shimmering yellow orb-lit aqua abyss. Alphabet lists have played a huge role in keeping the insanity of the Eve shift at bay. Though I still can't come up with an instrument for "I", "N" or "Q" - I was going to use "ice pick," "needles" and "quills," but I thought that was pushing it. Turns out I'm pretty awful with flowers, trees and birds, too - at least in alphabetical order, but yeah, still pretty bad; need to study up! (Countries, authors, books, movies, musicians, song and album titles, and I'm your lady - some other ones too, but I don't want to brag. -- super sidenote: I wish I could insert something that when you hovered your mouse over certain parts of my text you'd see the faces I was making as I wrote. That'd be way more interactive and awesome, right? Sadly my lack of technological skills prevents you from enjoying yourself further. My bad!) There have been many a night - after spending all day in the hot sun, possibly with some or even all of it at the water park - where I've found myself putting my whistle completely in my mouth, wondering if I swallowed it would I sound like that silly gopher on Winnie the Pooh with it lodged in my esophagus, or would it just be my throat, is there a more doctoral term for it, is it even connected to the voice, it must be because when you're choking you can't speak, or breathe. Windpipe? I apparently really need to study up on my anatomy, too. Then I decide I have too much to live for and spit the whistle out.

"This is what happens when you swallow a whistle, kids. They cut out your voice box."
"Well, then how can we hear you, mister?"
"You can't; you're reading my mind. You've all been watching too much 'True Blood'!"

Some nights I practice the water walk, and while I made it to the end about two weeks ago I still haven't mastered the turning around part. Most nights I find myself doing anything and everything to avoid getting in the water - that's good to hear from a lifeguard, right? - but then there's the night where the lure of the pool is too strong to deny and I end up soaked and shivering on chair for the rest of my shift.

Tonight me and my big mouth got me sent to the Racquet Center (solo shift; no rotations) which is a small 16 x 9.5 (of my feet) room with two large stainless steel counters in the front and on the side, where reservations for courts and equipment is dealt out, and the locker keys are handed over, respectively. It's pretty awesome in that there's no one to boss you and I spent the first hour - between six and seven is always slow because of dinnertime yum-yum - practicing my hand/eye coordination by bouncing a ping pong ball on its paddle (I stopped counting after 147*) and talking to co-workers. Then I had to pee. Then some people wanted to rent stuff, more co-workers came by, then more renters, I started the first draft of this, and on and on the night went. (That was actually how I got "in trouble" and sent there, after calling the Main 2 chair, the "soup" - that's short for supervisor - asked who wanted to get stuck at the RC and I said, "Darnit! I meant to bring my Korean to stud- I mean, what? I wouldn't do that... you watch the counter... at the Racquet Center..." but it was too late to retract my outburst and so to the Racquet Center I went, head hung low. All in all it was a pretty good night - aside from probably giving myself bladder control issues when I'm 45 for waiting until the last possible moment to call the WP for someone to watch counter.

So, that's the Eve shift, the wet and dry of it. Awesome, right? It actually isn't so bad, but sometimes I just get so sleepy when the sun goes down. And now it's getting late in the night, and Benjamin Franklin said, "Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise." and I want to swim or run or something before the restaurant gets mobbed with guests. DAY OFF TOMORROW!! Hiking Mt. Lam Lam with my friend, Bobby and then hopefully talking some people into going to the White Lady place, but I might wet myself before we even get there, especially with all the waiting I did tonight.

Enjoy your Sunday, America! It was lovely here.
*that's a lie, 999.