Island Driving

You always hear the stereotype that women and Asians are the worst drivers ever. Being a woman and a self-proclaimed amazing driver (those two accidents in high school were not my fault, and that other woman's break lights were out, so yeah... again, not my fault, and it ended in a wiping of the scratch on her car and putting back of my right headlight), I resent that patriarchal part of the statement. But from what I've seen in Asia, they are probably the world's worst drivers. Some how it works for them though; I didn't see many accidents when I was in Korea - in fact, I don't think I saw any - but there were many occasions where I had to jump back from the curb to avoid being run over, and I did hear a lot of screeching tires. Stoplights-schmoplights. (Remember that one time I was trying to teach my four-year-olds how to play 'Red Light Green Light' in Korea and little Eric was so confused by the concept because, "my mommy doesn't stop at red lights, Kate Teacher"? Yeah.) Mainly I mean dangerous, and so many people on the road, when I say "worst drivers." The Fast and the Furious movies all take place in Asia, right? That's not a coincidence.

Island drivers aren't much better from what I've come to discover. They, too, play the 'red light GO!' game, and there are a lot of accidents, which is unfortunate and frightening, but they take it one step further in disregarding emergency vehicles on the road.

(Again, please understand that this is all from my viewpoint as an American driver, and I base all my claims on having only experienced American and Asian driving. It is not my intention to offend anyone. Now that that's out of the way...)

Speed limits are merely a suggestion on Guam, so it seems. 25 means 40. 35 turns into 50+ and 40 gives the right to go close to 70, if not faster. I like driving, but sometimes I feel like Dee from Clueless, clutching the steering wheel, screaming as a giant truck is bearing down on me, before I pull over and cry. (I'm kind of joking.)

So, the other day (which was actually about two months ago) I was sitting shotgun while my girl, Ryann, was driving us (plus some friends from Saipan PIC) home from Asan ("ass'n" like, "Hey, you ass'n me a question?") Beach. We're about halfway home when an ambulance starts whirring behind us as we're driving through an intersection. Ryann instinctively starts to go faster, and I say, "Hey! Ryann! What are you doing?" grabbing onto the door like a parent teaching their teenager how to drive for the first time.

There was a lot of shouting, "What do I do? What do I do?!" and "Pull over! Pull over!", "Get off the road!", "Calm down!", "IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY! But get off the road!" and, "Why isn't anyone else pulling over? What do I do?!"

Eventually we made it off the road. Ryann actually parked us for a minute, and everyone caught their breath as we watched the rest of the cars on the road continue zooming on their merry way like nothing was the matter. There were actually cars in the lane of the ambulance, in front of the ambulance, not making any move to get out of the way. Crazy, right?

Taryn, one of the Saipan girls, mentioned that in listening to the radio in Saipan there will be special question ads from the Driving Bureau.

"Hafa Adai, Saipan Drivers. Please take a moment to carefully listen to the question and choose the correct answer. You are driving when you notice there is an emergency vehicle behind you, do you:

A. get behind and follow?
B. stop and pull over?
C. honk and speed up?
D. pull over and stop?

If you answered D, you are correct. When there is an emergency vehicle on the road, please pull over and stop so it can pass through traffic. Remember to drive safely, and always wear your seatbelt. Brought to you by your friendly Saipan Driving Bureau."

So now you know. When on the island, buckle up and watch out for those around you; they're maniacs behind the wheel.