All Things[-ish] Guam

This post is inspired by questions posed to me by my best friend, Lisa Marie (that’s right! I’m friends with the King’s daughter; no big deal; she’s famous):

Some questions about Guam: Are there coconuts? Have you eaten one? Do you still have to stand outside and work if it's raining? Are the water slides better than, worse than, or equal to those at Oceans of Fun?

Yes, there are coconuts here on Guam. I eat many, all the time. One of my favorite shifts is the Coconut Show at the Cultural Hut because it’s really chill and I get to eat and drink coconuts for basically three hours, though sometimes it’s really busy and I have to help pass out cups or take pictures with/for the families and drunk ajashis. It’s best to drink the young, green ones, and you can eat their slimy, white meat, too; they’re crazy hard to get into though, and you’ll need a machete. (Also the knowledge on how to use said machete, probably.) The old, brown ones are also good to eat, and that’s the coconut most people think of, but the water in it is usually not as tasty; these guys are also difficult to get into as you have to tear through the husk before you can even attempt to crack the coconut. (You’re going to need some rocks and small, hard hunting knives to get into these guys. And muscles. Patience, too.) You make coconut milk by pressing the shavings of the old ones. How ‘bout that?! So much coconut knowledge! Unfortunately, the show is only on Saturday afternoons, and I’m not always scheduled for it; sometimes I have to run over on my “Off Chair” rotation at the Water Park to have a chat, and chug a [green] coconut, otherwise I have to figure out who’s working it and have them bring me some drink for later, or coconut candy. Coconut candy!! It’s coconut shavings, lil’ bit of young coconut water, and brown sugar all cooked together on a pan. I prefer the plain, fresh stuff, but let’s face it, I’m not going to be picky when it comes to coconuts. On the way back from my Garage Clean-up shift (we’re scheduled for it every now again, this was my first time and I sweated a lot when I was raking up trash in the sun. Wearing clothes outside, during the day, while working is a strange thing to me now apparently) I stopped and chatted with two Grounds Maintenance guys, Pastor and Hyepin, to see what they planned on doing with the load of young coconuts in their golf cart. I walked away with a freshly cut drink and an extra coconut left for me by the greenhouse area that I just now remembered…

[I'm sitting bottom-left in the Cultural Hut, this is my first show and I'm sitting with the kiddies from the club. That's Jor in the Polynesian print; she's a middle school English teacher and she works every Saturday. See the green coconuts next to Jor? They're delicious!]

[Back in November, on my first day off. I'm in the back acting like a weirdo, and that's Bobby trying to figure out the best way to husk that coconut. Answer: with your bare hands. He's coconut crazy these days; has a machete on his balcony, and this whole system rigged up to open 'em easily and then turn the nuts into cups/bowls, incense holders and wall sconces.]

[Cement cinder block, or coconut opener?]

[This is 'Team November', otherwise known as Sarah, Ryann, me, Lindsay 'photographer', and Bobby, also known as my training group. This was on the same day as the above picture - at Ritidian Beach (my favorite place on Guam) - and before we knew that the brown ones aren't the best to drink.]

Mangoes on the other hand, you cannot get whenever you want, as they’re seasonal. “Seasonal?” you ask as you maybe throw your hands in the air, “But it’s a tropical island! I don’t understand!” Despite what you may think, Guam has two seasons; the Rainy Season and the Windy Season. We are currently living in the Windy Season, though it sure seems like the Rainy Season right now with it raining a lot all day and really raining – pouring – for longer than five minutes per time. Yeah, I guess it’s pretty windy, too, so that in combination with the no sun and the pelt-y rain leads me into LM’s second section of questioning. Yes. I work in the rain. Sometimes that work could be in the Racquet Center, clothed behind a counter, indoors (kind of), or it could be on-chair in the Water Park while sitting at the Main Pool rotation that might as well be a crow’s nest on a pirate ship in terms of there being nothing to block your sight, or in this case – the wind. Rotations at the Water Park are only 30 minutes, but those minutes can really drag by, and 70 degrees might not seem that cold of wet conditions, but when you’re elevated into the wind and wearing only a bathing suit, I dare you to say you’re not cold with your teeth chattering and your lips turning blue as the icicles begin to form on your hair. 

Third question section: slides at Oceans of Fun. Oceans of Fun is a water park attached to an amusement park, Worlds of Fun, in Kansas City, Missouri. I have not been to said attractions since I was 13. For shame, I know. From what I remember, Oceans of Fun has us beat in the expansive park department, and probably variety, too. We have five waterslides, and that’s a stretch as three of those are baby-baby slides that slide of the Slide Pool and into the Main Pool. The two main slides are windy and fast, with the longer one being the fastest and also the rotation known as “Mountain” in the WP. The smaller one is awesome in terms of turns, but it’s so short, and also a palm tree branch once fell onto a little girl’s head as she was riding it – she cried and was scared, but she was okay… after a while. The main-main slide is fun, but kind of scary. I didn’t think so at first cause I always ride it belly-face first which is the way the sign tells you not to ride (probably because you can make yourself flip out at the end), but the back-feet first way the sign indicates for you to ride is way scarier. I used to really love working Mountain because I would always make friends and give them ways on how to improve their slide ride; sideways, back-backwards-head first, belly-backwards-feet first, wrapped in a burrito-head first, wrapped in a burrito-feet first. Then I started doing all of them, like the burrito-head first and I decided it was best to let the sign do the talking as I tried to rub the pain out of my head.

We also have slides in the Splash Pool, in the Swim-Through rotation. That’s the cold kids pool I was talking about in posts before. There are two-three slides; a double blue bump slide with a mini-pool, and a red tunnel one that has one curve. Oceans of Fun might beat us in the slide area, but I'm pretty sure we win what with having the real ocean and all.

So, that’s that for you. I hope you all feel a little bit better versed in the workings of the world on Guam, my job, and coconuts.