Zombies and Why I Wouldn't Survive an Attack

I couldn't help but think about this as I walked home from doing yoga and eating yummy, tasty borscht at Elaine's house. Weird, I know. Zombies are something I think about on a regular - if not daily - basis here, in Korea. Maybe it has something to do with the fast-paced and drunken lifestyle over here (fast-walking, stumbly folks is what I'm getting at with that); the fact that I'm different from everyone and feel somewhat like I'm on the outside looking in (whereas if I were in Zombieland, I'd be on the inside looking out of barred windows, sweating and scared for my life); how sometimes, in the morning when I'm running, I'll hear the quick clip-clop of heels running behind me, and in not wanting them to pass me (them being business-clad men and [usually] women) I'll run faster and some part of my brain will turn it into a necessary situation... like outrunning zombies. Or, sometimes when I'm playing LIONASAUR with my kids in the playroom, they'll all be tugging me down and roaring themselves (basically acting like zombies), and that's when I get really scared because they have a good grip and they'd be all cute and confused-looking (because they might not know how they got turned into a zombie, or why they wanted to eat me) and that's the time when they would spring. I think about these things.

Oh. But the whole thing, besides all those things, that sparked me to think about zombies in the first place - well, the first place this evening (cause I was thinking about it in the playroom today, but we'll get to that, there's still time) was when I was walking home, in the dark (well semi-dark, this is "urban-ish" Korea, and the night is neon), next to a busy road, on a big, slightly dimmed sidewalk, and a woman sneezed not once, not twice, but three times that I heard in passing (there very well could have been more). That made me think about infection, and what isn't the ultimate infection, but zombie-ism? Right? Right. So I was thinking, what if this woman was a zombie? I'm a little tired right now, would I be able to run away? And, if I could run away, would I be able to run away right away, because I'd probably be pretty confused at first, and then maybe in my confusion, if I did run away, what if I ran into this busy road next to me and I'm hit by the traffic - which is a worry every day, I mean, I've told you about the crazy drivers here. So, enacting that scenario in my mind made me want to study up on zombies and be well versed in the subject so I could protect myself in case something of the sort were to ever happen (though, c'mon, I think it goes without saying that I'm joking right now... am I clarifying this for your sake or mine, that remains to be seen) and I thought back to the time when I saw David Sedaris in Kansas City, with my brother, Alex, and he read some from Max Brooks' The Zombie Survival Guide and it was funny, but there were rules and tips, tips about survival - there aren't guns in Korea, so if an infection/invasion were to take place, what would I do? Then, in thinking about zombies... okay, so they attack people... is it because they're really hungry, or are they just like extreme Scientologists, trying to recruit anyone and everyone they can? I just don't know. Like I said, I'm not that well versed in zombie knowledge and I need to do my studying.

And then I thought about that movie Dawn of the Dead (that's the one with the little girl who eats the woman's husband in the bathroom in the beginning scene, right? because it's the dawn when it begins...) and that made me think of my kids being zombies (which again, like you read above is something that I think of sometimes), because today in the playroom, I was just being the regular ole Lion, and I ran up the "stairs" (red, yellow, blue smooshy-ish round log-like steps) after them, and started into the green tunnel so they would race down the bumpy slide, but then instead of coming out of the tunnel, I stayed in it y'see, and I turned around so I would surprise 'em if/when they came up the steps (of sorts). But, oh! They surprised me, because they all came up at once and my roaring didn't surprise them back down the steps as I thought it would, and they advanced on me so that I had to scoot myself backwards to the safety of the slide, but it didn't stop there because they were all trying to get through the tunnel to get at me, and they're roaring and pulling on my pant legs to keep me within biting distance, and this was just for fun and they probably weren't even trying that hard, but if they had been hungry zombies, I'm sure I would've been a goner! I have to say my heart rate was a little elevated until I was down the slide and able to stand up and regain my reign over them. Phew!

This is probably a bad idea to be A1 - writing/thinking about zombies before bed, and B2 - writing before bed, because now the juices are flowing and I'm gonna pull one of those, okay, time for bed, but oooh, this is a good thought, and thinking about that is making me think about this, and if I don't write it down now I'm totally not going to remember it tomorrow, and then before I know it it's going to be later than I want it to be. Also, no pictures included, because the A1 area and that website's audio has probably already done a number on my subconscious.

That's all. (hoping for no invasions tonight)